Monday, March 18, 2013

Learning the Art of Patience

How many times have you missed out on something all because you never waited long enough to see it through? Perhaps one of our greatest life lessons for many of us is to learn The Art of Being Patient.

Everything in our lives is designed to make us go faster, do more, be more productive and happen instantly. That is fine if you are a computer being ruled by an algorithm or coding which defines you, but we are part of nature and nature does not work that way. A tree does not just become a tree, a field of grass does not instantly grow, however because of what technology is doing around us we have altered our expectations on nature as well as on ourselves. We expect things to happen now, we have lost our ability to wait and see things through and as a result we are not allowing situations to grow organically and are deleting them way before their true “down load time is complete.” We have lost the art of being patient and live in a “download now” society, where we want things done now and have no patience to wait.

The problem with the impatience is that our expectations of people (Human Beings encoded by nature) are often not met leading us to feel disappointed and in time resentful. This creates frustration and anger and leads us to disrespect a person rather than embrace compassion and understanding. In fact for most of us we are too impatient for compassion and understanding.

I love Robin Sharma’s view on Patience…

Patience keeps us grounded and ensures we evolve as nature intended. Patience ensures that step by step we learn the lessons we need to learn and each step allows us to recognize our strengths. Patience allows us to enjoy the journey without worrying about the future or placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others.

Here are 5 steps to help you break down the process and learn The Art of Being Patient:

1.    BREATHE

We have been given the best self regulation tool to manage our emotions moment by moment. This tool is our breath. Our breath helps calm the nervous system by altering and slowing down our brain waves. As the brain waves slow down so do all the other bodily systems-  heart rate slows down, muscles relax, adrenals relax and we begin to have positive hormones flowing through our systems rather than Adrenalin and Cortisol. By calming yourself with your breath you allow the body to come off its stress mode and utilize higher parts of the brain which in turn allow you to monitor your responses rather than react from the emotional brain.

This is key in building patience as your breath can help you manage situations by keeping you calm and focused as opposed to stressed and reactive. As your frustration, anger, overload or overwhelm builds begin to focus on your breath and begin to bring yourself back into a state of calm. (Read previous post, The Power of Your Breath)

2.    BE PRESENT

By focusing on your breath you will then have the ability to be in the NOW and embrace the present moment. Fear is often us replaying the past or moving into expectations or predictions of the future. And when we are in the past or the future we are not in the now and miss the opportunities which present themselves in this present moment.

In last week’s post I wrote about the process of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. Imagine the caterpillar lost patience in the cocoon? Imagine he decided it was too frustrating, too long, too painful and simply had  enough. If that was the case we would live in butterflyless world. We would miss out on this beautiful symbol of transformation and freedom…all because of impatience.

Being present allows you to focus on what is around you and enjoy the journey and the joy that is in the present moment. Everything is happening in its time which means that every stage of growth is important and must be embraced.

3.    LET GO OF CONTROL

Out of impatience and fear we control. Just think of your language…I am sure it is filled with musts, shoulds and have-tos. I am sure it is fueled with frustration, demands and expectations.

Learning to let go allows you to be patience and remain confident that everything is happening for a good reason.

4.    BE ORGANIC

By letting go and staying confident we allow situations to remain organic. We allow relationships, people and all situations to run their natural lifecycle. We get out of the way and allow nature to grow.

5.    TRUST

By letting go we embrace trust. Trust allows us to embrace uncertainty and trust that everything is happening as it needs to and for our greater growth. Trust allows us to focus, allows us to believe and allows us to focus on our inner resources and resilience rather than the problem. Trust instantly calms us and can be seen as the foundation of all mental health as when we are in Trust we are not in fear and when we are not in fear we are being our true selves and not the Ego (fearful) self.

Now that we are back in our natural state we can come back to positive emotions like joy and gratitude which bring us back into our natural state of play and fun, making all situations easier and more tolerable. Most importantly we can step back, let go and be patient, knowing that everything will work out in the end, and if it hasn't worked out yet…then it’s not the end…


 To your truth and freedom with lots and lots of love,

Cheryne
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