Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Lessons from My Zen Master (who is also my 2 year old son)

I have this wonderful little man in my life who, although can challenge me to tears some days, is also teaching me the most amazing life lessons. His name is Jai and he happens to be my 2 year old son.

Going back to have my third child in my forties has been quite a journey. When I had my older kids in my twenties and thirties, I was so busy finding me and busy in life...navigating myself in a new marriage, running a stressful business, finding my voice… 

And today, although there are moments when my body says, hey lady you are in your mid-forties, I am able to see things through a greater sense of wisdom and clarity and feel like this time round I am more present, engaged and aware that I am being shown such simple yet profound lessons from these beautiful gems in my life.

So here are my favorite five lessons from my little Buddha:

There is only this moment
Jai has no construct of time, there is only now! No tomorrow, no yesterday, no next week, no in a couple hours… only now. When he is playing with something he is fully immersed in it (well, for a few precious seconds) and finds the joy in whatever he does. He doesn’t multitask or try and fit in as much as he can in one day, he is not focused on how productive he is being or if he is winning or losing…all he has is this very moment.

I cannot rush him as that is when the tantrums erupt, I am learning to live on toddler time, and give us more time to get places and do less each day. I love the idea of toddler time, there is total freedom and joy and total mindfulness.

Life is about getting messy 

Oh yeah! By the end of Jai’s day he has stepped in some serious mud, picked up all sorts of dirt from the garden, whatever he has consumed is all-over himself, and he is sticky, sweaty and smelly. Yet it does not bother him and he has taught me to roll up my sleeves and get messy… roll in the mud , sink your hands in and embrace life.

At what stage did we forget to play and get messy?

It’s all about me.
At some stage we develop that awful disease to please and put others first over ourselves. But not the toddler…My needs come first, there is no disease to please or being a martyr.

Their needs come first and what they need matters. They do not second guess themselves or question their needs. They need and then ask…it’s very simple!

At some stage we develop self-doubt and question our self-worth…imagine we stayed in the tenacity and confidence of the toddler?

My needs are simple
I often think I need to be doing more with him…take him to a play centre, the zoo, park etc …but his needs are simple and do not need to be complicated. His happiness is simple eat, s**t, play, sleep, enjoy the sunshine, have fun, be curious, find an adventure and explore!

This is such a beautiful lesson because as adults we tend to complicate our lives and we forget the basic elements which truly light us up and bring us joy. Happiness is simple!

All we need is love

Yes, there needs to be boundaries and guidelines and of course there needs to be safety rules, yet what makes him thrive is to bath him in love and kisses and lots of cuddles.

He will learn his way and discover his own lessons…all I need to do is love him unconditionally and let him know that he has a safe place to land no matter what! Unconditional love teaches us that we are valued and have unique gifts to offer the world.

This is our greatest human need and everything else is insignificant. I do not need to over parent or parent from fear, love is simple!

The toddler is being their essence, their true authentic self which encompasses all their uniqueness, joy, wisdom and presence. Imagine if we were all able to stay in this space of simplicity and truth?

I’d love to hear about the lessons you learn from the kids in your life? Please feel free to share here.

To your truth and freedom with lots of love,


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