Does your Self Worth have terms?

Did you know that your Self Worth has its own terms and conditions? An internal contract of deeds which determines whether you feel self worth or not? If these conditions and terms are not met we feel worthless, empty and unfulfilled. Let me explain…

The sub conscious mind is like an inner algorithm, just like Google or Facebook. It is made up of hundreds and thousands of programs made up of delicate circuitry in our mind, formed through every experience and every thought we have ever had. Just like an algorithm we simply respond to programming and orders. Yep…we are as basic as a mathematic al equation… with neurological links leading to conditioned responses.  The great news is that just like any equation when we break down the components and re-program the equation we end up with a new formula and a different result.

Our self worth therefore has its own algorithm… we have learnt through experiences starting in early childhood to feel worthy and realize what makes up our self worth. And so the contract of terms and conditions is made. These terms and conditions lead us to form expectations of ourselves and others and develop needs and demands which must be met in order for us to feel Self Worth. One of the most common terms I hear from many woman, for example, is that our self worth is defined by a man…if we have a man in our lives and we are making him happy then we are worthy; Or if our kids are happy and doing great, then we are worthy.

 We decide…

I am worthy if people like me

I am worthy when people laugh at me

I am worthy if I look good
I am worthy if I dress well

I am worthy if I get good grades

I am worthy if people accept me

I am worthy if I do what others want me to do

I am worthy if I always help others
I am worthy if I am a good friend

I am worthy if I succeed and have a good job

I am worthy if I own my own home
I am worthy if I drive a great car

I am worthy if I am loved and in a relationship

I am worthy if my kids are happy

I am worthy if my kids succeed

I am worthy if my house is tidy

I am worthy if I follow my religion and do as I am told

IF IF IF!!!

Society plays a role in conditioning us into this mindset. Schooling, religion, mass media condition us to believe we need to be a certain way and do certain things in order to be good enough and be worthy. Religion demands me to obey Gods commandments and I will be accepted and loved; school deceived me into believing that I had to measure up to others and measure up to a curriculum to feel intelligent and capable and the media disillusioned me to belief that I needed to look a certain way in order to be loved and accepted. The media has fooled us completely…there was an ad recently here in Australia advertising toilet cleaner and their slogan said…”What does your loo say about you!”

Are they for real? You mean to tell me that my LOO determines what kind of person I am? I remember, after seeing that ad and going to check on my Loo  (ha ha, yes of course I did) and thinking…Hmmmm…well my loo would say that I have a fantastic fulfilled life with a great purpose which extends further then a shiny Loo. (I laughed to myself…as I gave the bowl a quick spritz- hee hee)

But seriously all these terms and conditions are trapping us into a fearful reality which does not allow freedom and peace- it forces us to always want more…to always need to be more…to fear being alone… to push ourselves until we burn out…to judge ourselves…to judge others…to never fully appreciate who we are and what we have…and never feel worthy and fulfilled. (How exhausting!)

When we break this contract and collapse the terms and conditions we are placing within the boundaries of our mind we set ourselves FREE.  We allow ourselves to truly BE OURSELVES with complete acceptance, trust and self belief. We drop all demands and expectations and enable ourselves to go with the flow and love compassionately and unconditionally and most importantly life becomes easier and less stressful as the triggers and the burdens drop out of our sphere of reality...setting you FREEEEEEEEEEE!

We realize that our self worth is not based on what we do or what we have…it is based on who we are and what we give to those around us by simply BEING who we are.

We realize that our self worth comes from a deep loving feeling within as we embrace ourselves for being

                Loving                   Empathetic         Compassionate
                Kind                       Nurturing           Trusting
                Giving                   Tenacious            Fun

We realize that in being that special self we make a difference and contribute to the lives of everyone we meet and we realize that we are truly significant and valuable. Freedom comes from the enjoyment of focusing on our authentic self and not the self we think others want or need us to be.

So we end this contract and drop all expectations we have of ourselves. And when these expectations are dropped we reach a beautiful place of self-acceptance.  With a Self-Accepting mindset our inner focus shifts, which then creates an entire new reality. An updated algorithm is made…

I accept myself for being loving

I accept myself for being open

I accept myself for being authentic

I accept myself for being caring…giving… passionate….independent… strong….capable… whole… peaceful….

The list goes on and on and on… Enjoy!

To your truth and freedom,

Cheryne

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