It's Never Too Late To Redeem Yourself

How many of us hold onto the past with guilt, shame, blame or resentment? Replaying events like a record player stuck on a track; unable to truly let go or change our “song.” It can be quite exhausting and definitely stunts our personal and spiritual growth.

We hold on to events we believed we failed, or let people down. We hold on to events where we felt embarrassed or ashamed of our own behavior. We hold on to events which caused us pain and sorrow and loss. And in holding back we keep ourselves tied to the past, connected by an invisible cord of energy which anchors us to our past- our soul wants to soar forwards but our ego mind holds us back, scared to make the same mistakes, scared to feel the pain again. In holding back, we actually stagnate our energy flow which leads to a suppression of energy and feelings- A suppression which in turn leads to anxiety.

BUT, I am here to tell you…IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO REDEEM YOURSELF'1

This weekend was the Day of Atonement in the Jewish calendar, one of the holiest days of the year. This is a day where we humble ourselves completely- we stop, we fast, we reflect and we ask for forgiveness. It is the day where we are able to wipe the slate clean again. What a great opportunity! This opportunity is open to all of us once we become aware of this process. In fact, why wait for one day a year, this could be done daily or even better in the moments we feel it.

What I am talking about here is the ability in every moment to release and let go of the past and in doing so releasing guilt, blame, shame and resentment which ultimately means FORGIVING OURSELVES. Lack of self forgiveness blocks our path towards self love. In fact without forgiveness we stay locked in the same belief patterns where we feel we have done something wrong.  But we can alter those thought patterns; we can ditch those beliefs…As Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” So we need to learn HOW TO let go and wipe the slate clean.

My father, Alan Blom, spoke last week on Facebook about 3 steps to wiping the slate clean…

1.       Regret              2.         Remorse           &          3.         Resolution

… let’s elaborate ...

STEP #1: Regret means we become aware of what we have done. With this awareness we notice the patterns which replay themselves. We can see what we did wrong and awaken to a possibility of doing something different- this is a magical step we often take for granted. So for example, let’s say you regret saying something to someone; in gaining this awareness you admit to yourself you have done something wrong and the mind begins to question another way you can act; something better you can do next time. This is now leading you towards growth, YAY!!!

Step #2: Remorse means we become accountable for our actions. This means, facing ourselves, being true and taking 100% responsibility for our actions and ourselves, which in turn means accountability. From here the “blame game” stops and we begin to work on ourselves. Without remorse we stay a victim and give another person power. Remorse again allows us to challenge our current way of being. Remorse is actually a truly humbling emotion, allowing us to be vulnerable and authentic- an act of courage.

Step #3: Resolution means we now search for ways we can be better which means we change. In this courageous act of transformation we embrace the lessons we need to learn and move ourselves into a new mode. It is here where we can let go of those ties to the past. In finding new ways and embracing the lessons we restore a feeling of self respect and integrity which ultimately brings us back to feeling confident (see previous blog here)

We forgive ourselves because we realize that we did the best we could with the person we were at the time; and now having new awareness and new ways of being we can trust that we will do differently. We realize that every situation comes to us for a reason and rather than sitting in shame we can embrace the past with GRATITUDE!

We drop all expectations of ourselves. The expectations which say,” I should have known better, I could have done that better or I must not let myself ‘fail’ again.” We then turn those expectations into ACCEPTANCE. We take ourselves off the pedestal in which we place ourselves and we accept where we are. We begin to focus on what we have and who we are rather than what we are not.

And so… we come to the 4^th step…REINVENTION.

 In the moment we redeem ourselves, we reinvent ourselves. Reinvention means we take a good look at what we have learnt and ask ourselves WHO DO I WANT TO BE? WHAT ARE THE VIRTUES I WANT TO FOLLOW?

This means we now commit to ourselves and here we completely let go of the past and commit to who we will be moving forwards- we begin to  take ourselves from the present into the future rather than replaying the past. Rather than reject ourselves with shame and guilt, we accept and commit. We love ourselves rather that hate ourselves.

Make today a day to reinvent yourself! Start fresh! You may slip back into old patterns (in fact you most likely will as conditioned behavior is always more dominant)  but you can quickly readjust yourself and bring yourself BACK INTO THE NOW and start again…and again… and again.  Every choice you make in every moment is shaping you into the person you want to be and so change and freedom can happen in a heartbeat! 

Enjoy!

Towards your truth and freedom,

Cheryne Blom

For more about Cheryne please also see: http://www.cheryneblom.com/ 

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