As we begin to transcend beyond our ego(see previous post, EGO BEGONE), we begin to see the world through a completely different lens. Our perceptions, judgments and illusions shift. We no longer tolerate fear and lack of worthiness within ourselves and as a result no longer see them nor tolerate them in others. As we accept who we are and love ourselves within we see more love in others. Mastering the Art of SELF LOVE allows us to Master the Art of Loving others as well.
Loving from EGO
When we love from our EGO we are motivated by the following:
The need to be loved
Asking ourselves, what the other person offers us
A fear of separation
A fear of being alone
A need to spend every day together
Codependency
A need to possess
A need to control
A fear of loss
A need to be right
Expectations & Demands
Anger & Resentment
Jealousy & Insecurity
Judgment & Competition
The need to rescue, protect, fix, help, save or fulfill another
The main reason we are motivated in this direction is because of that inner EGO belief of not being loved, not being worthy or not feeling good enough, therefore we fear rejection, commitment, loss or any attachment. So the EGO makes us feel empty inside and seeks to be fulfilled outside ourselves. This is like a bottomless pit – the EGO is never satisfied – so we can never be loved enough, validated enough, or put high enough on a pedestal when in ego- we are insatiable and forever searching. It is from this space within that our judgments about others are made –we are not seeing people in their truth but seeing people from our fear. Our own inner perceptions get projected to another and vice versa. We love a person from what Lauren C. Gorgo calls the “EGOOO.” AND IS THIS TRUE LOVE?
Loving from ESSENCE
Loving from our essence is based on 2 basic virtues: Truth and Freedom, the virtues and morals of our “NEW CONSCIOUSNESS.” From essence we allow ourselves to be guided by the hearts compass which means being guided by our own courage and wisdom. Because we have a completely different internal frame of reference from our essence we do not project fear but reflect and attract pure love. Our own pure heart attracts another pure heart. Loving from the essence allows us to have a relationship based on the following?
Friendship & Respect
Trust &Expression
Growth & Compassion
Creativity & Honesty
Openness & Laughter
Fun & Support
Freedom
We help each other be the best version of ourselves without holding each other back. We give each other space and do not rely on each other for inner completeness. We listen actively to one another and have no need to prove ourselves or make ourselves right. We express ourselves openly and courageously and most importantly AUTHENTICALLY. Within ourselves we are focused, balanced, self sufficient, independent, empowered, strong and have the emotional fitness to take responsibility for our own feelings and emotions.
The key here is that this place of powerful TRUE LOVE can only be accessed once we discover that love and acceptance within ourselves first. Here are 4 virtues to embrace and unleash the power of true love in your relationship.
THE PROCESS IS CALLED L’ TEC (not that sexy or creative, no fancy bells or whistles) It stands for the following:
LOVE TRUST EMPATHY COMPASSION
LOVE is a state of being within us. A connection to our higher power and higher awareness. What I am referring to here is SELF LOVE (Read previous blog Mastering the Art of Self love)
TRUST is a state of knowing that every person and every situation is brought to us for a reason at the perfect time and in the perfect process. This is about having a high state of trust in yourself. Yes, the mind struggles with this concept, as it wants to stay in victim mentality, blame and look for the easy way out but in this state of trust we remember that every person is a spiritual messenger helping us with our growth and we realize that with each person that comes into our lives exists a soul contract, This soul contract or Karma which exists between us and our many soul mates helps us transcend and evolve along our journey of personal growth. We first have to master this space of trust to allow them in.
EMPATHY awakens in the space of “no ego.” Once we enter this state of love and trust we do not take ANYTHING personally and do not make situations about ourselves. When the “SELL FISH” is out of the picture we can view a situation from another person’s point of view. We can see their perspective, hear it and accept it. Accept that their perspective is their “MAP” of how they view the world. We can feel the situation from their side and then enter a high place of compassion.
COMPASSION is truly the highest place of love. This is the place of total acceptance. From this place of compassion we are detached from the situation and even the person. We have no expectations, needs or demands. There is no need to control we can simply be.
These 4 steps most importantly give us the feeling of inner freedom and we are not manipulated and influenced by our fear. Here we allow ourselves to be our essence and therefore be our truth. We allow ourselves to love from the inside out- the proper cycle of love.
From this place of truth comes inner peace, then total happiness and then bliss…So why do anything else?
To truth and freedom!
Lots of love,
Cheryne Blom
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For more about Cheryne please also see: http://www.cheryneblom.com/
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