In each of us exists a little gremlin, a little monster whose aim is to distract us off path. It is the part of us that gets distracted, is undisciplined, lazy, unfocused and gives up. In my meditation classes I refer to this part of us as “THE MONKEY MIND”. The conditioned, habitual mind which runs on auto pilot and has no self awareness of itself in any moment. It may even have self awareness but then has another voice within which overrides its own wisdom- that voice that says, “yes I know you can do that, but why be bothered?” The Monkey mind swings from thought to thought with no focus and a playfulness like a monkey aimlessly swinging from branch to branch with no direction and nowhere to go. This part of our mind is attached to our negative ego and our limiting beliefs and fears of ourselves.
It is easier to be lazy and unfocused then disciplined and committed. It is easier to listen to the fear and the insecurity because to do otherwise would mean we would need to face ourselves and face discomfort. And in the moment this part of our “lower mind” feels like reality. The body wakes up and wants to exercise yet the lower mind says: “No way Sista, it is way too cold!” or it says “YOU NEED MORE SLEEP, STAY IN BED, and IT IS MORE COMFORTABLE HERE.” Or the body may be in need of some rest and need to slow down yet the monkey says, “NO KEEP GOING, TO STOP IS BORING, TO STOP IS TOO STILL AND TO STOP MEANS FAILURE.” And so a battle between the mind the body begins.
This inner monster has its own set of language which begins with I MUST, I SHOULD, I HAVE TO, I NEED TO, I FEEL PRESSURED TO, THEY EXPECT ME TO and is connected to our sense of failure and desire to prove ourselves. When we honour the monster we are left feeling incomplete, empty, frustrated, guilty, disempowered and let down. We are left doubting our own strength and ability which ends up chipping away at our self confidence and personal empowerment.
The inner monster takes us out of the now and distracts us off purpose. It leads us to be reactive to situations and reactive to our emotions rather than being present and in control of ourselves. In fact each time we honour the inner monster we are left with a feeling of being out of control and being in a state of chaos and stress which in time leads us to doubt ourselves, doubt our strength and loose trust and respect for ourselves. This feeling of being out of control breaks our internal sense of safety and creates fear because we have no internal power to deal with what is in front of us effectively, calmly and rationally.
BUT THERE IS HOPE!
What if we begin to see this game of the lower mind in a positive light. Instead of seeing it as a distraction what if we now called it, THE INTEGRITY TEST. Each time that lower mind and lower thought enters our reality perhaps it is simply a test to see how much integrity we will have for ourselves. And lets define integrity here as being True to yourself, listening to your inner guidance, connected to your body and staying focused and on purpose. Once we begin to see this battle as a game it changes everything. We do not need to succumb to the lower thoughts but turn those thoughts around into having integrity for self. And every time we choose integrity we build our confidence and empowerment and THRIVE. To thrive means to live your life through your highest potential where inspired thoughts are followed by purposeful action not distracted and stopped by the inner goo.
Empowerment and confidence look like this…
It works like this:
Every time we have integrity for ourselves and listen to our inner guidance and higher thoughts(inspiring thoughts) we create self respect.
In self respect we feel proud of ourselves, like ourselves, trust ourselves and build a great sense of self worth.
To have self worth means we honour our true self, we have a great sense of self and know that we are “in control” of ourselves in every moment. This is different to being controlling, here I am referring to a state of self control, stillness, discipline and focus. This is the part of ourselves we can trust, the part which will not succumb to the chaos or the drama and therefore leads to a clarity of self.
Having clarity of ourselves means we know who we are, what we want and how to handle ourselves in every moment. We feel a sense of personal power and a greater sense of wisdom. This leads to a certainty of self.
This certainty of self is what all confident individuals exude. A deep confident knowing of self which is not arrogant but certain- I know who I am, I know my values and my values and beliefs are in alignment with each other. The mind is still, balanced and focused, the monkey has been tamed and does not flap around in our mind leading us to be drained but is still allowing us to channel a point of focus and direct our mind and our energy. In this place of certainty we exist in the present moment. We no longer judge past behaviors or others and have no need to project in the future- we are simply present and in flow.
This state of empowerment and confidence is our true state and in this true state we connect with our core values and our deep purpose. In this state we realize that our purpose has an entity of its own, has its own momentum and flow, but we let the lower ego mind distract us and stand in our way.
Our goal now is to recognize ego patterns and lower level thinking, monkey thoughts and break the patterns. Here are 7 key self coaching questions to help you stay inspired and work up the empowerment triangle:
What does it mean for me to have integrity for myself?
What does it give me to have integrity?(For example, every time I listen to my truth I feel empowered, energized, and feel I am in control of myself)
In the moment when the lower minds thoughts sound/feel louder…
What would my choice be right now if I respected myself?
What would my choice be right now if I respected myself?
How do I feel when I respect myself?
What makes up my sense of self worth?
To help you gain clarity ask…
What do I want?
What do I need to stay empowered and feel confident?
What do I need to stay empowered and feel confident?
Who am I in the space of certainty of self?
If you have any questions please email me, here.
Have fun, be gentle and remember that everyday is a journey offering you the potential to move further from your ego mind and closer to the beauty of self love deep within your heart and soul.
Lots of love.
Cheryne Blom
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For more about Cheryne please also see: http://www.cheryneblom.com/
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