You Are Always Under Construction

Are you sometimes hard on yourself? Do you beat yourself up saying things like, I wish I did … or I should have done …? With the words of regret polluting your mind creating emotions of doubt, frustration, anger, confusion, guilt and hatred all directed at self? These emotions then further create lack of confidence, low self esteem, lack of an ability to express yourself and lack of self worth.  We then, from a space of worthlessness, unconsciously punish ourselves, also known as self sabotage.  And the biggest problem with all of this is the energy loss or energy leak those emotions cause within us. The minute we go into unresourceful (not needed or not helpful) negative emotions we drain our energy because we slip into lower level thinking and a lower level vibration of fear and Egoooooo.

See yourself as a beautiful glowing golden ball of light. This light is made of pure energy and vibrates at a high frequency. This energy ball contains your full potential. It is absolute enthusiasm, the fuel which drives your passion. Now see every fearful or negative thought as black goo that seeps into the pureness of this bubble. Every negative thought makes the circle dirtier and dirtier. Notice how the bubble begins to get cloudy and heavy, the energy becomes dense and the bubble begins to fall. What was once a ball of pure light is now a big blob of black goo on the floor immobilized with doubt, fear, shame, guilt, anger, frustration, confusion, loneliness, isolation  and much more “yucky” stuff. We therefore allow the goo in and become clouded with negativity.

But this is where the power lies… Based on Positive Psychology, positivity, optimism, resilience, courage, wisdom, trust, happiness and freedom are learnt behaviors. This means that we can learn strategies to overcome the negativity and move ourselves towards the emotions which we want, the emotions which take us back to that high energy vibration, emotions which enable us to live our full potential and true selves. This also means that our journey towards our full potential is going to take time and effort, so rather than being so hard on ourselves we can begin to accept where we are right now. We can begin to gain self awareness on how we lose our energy and how we can claim back our power.

Normally when we are in fear we are in fight, flight or freeze mode. We tend to go into a space of blame. We blame others for the harm they have caused us and we blame ourselves thinking we were too weak, too vulnerable or too easily influenced. The problem with blame is that it leaves us feeling powerless and I mean literally, because all our focus and energy is placed on another person- all the energy faces them which causes a loss within us. And because we fall into lower level thinking by letting the goo in, we completely disempower ourselves. We become the powerless victim.

Victim mentality is the most disempowering state because we tend to rely on others or any other external source to pump us up again. What is most disempowering of all is that we lose personal responsibility.

Personal responsibility is the opposite state to victim and the key to empowerment because personal responsibility means we take charge of our lives and realize we are the cause of all the effects in our world not the other way round. Here there is no blame because we realize that our perceptions, decisions and interpretations of our world around us are based on us- we have a choice to take it all personally or to see a different perspective.

The problem is that the word responsibility normally has a negative meaning for many people with many of us doing our best (unconsciously and consciously) to avoid being responsible at all costs, especially those who have freedom high on their value list. So what we need to do first is define responsibility correctly. What I am talking about here is our ability to respond to the world around us- our Response Ability. Instead of impulsively reacting we can have the self control to decide how we want to respond. This would mean we are able to manage our emotions, manage our decisions, ensure we take necessary action steps and articulate ourselves with clear, non emotional communication. We would think about our body language, our tonality and the language we use and ensure that everything we do is congruent with our values and the person we chose to be- the person conscious of designing the best version of themselves.

There are steps to taking and developing personal responsibility…

1.      Self Awareness. If you have been reading my blog for a while you will know that I always start here and that all self development begins with a self reflection stage where we gain the self awareness on all the parts of ourselves, it is our own SWOT analysis, knowing clearly our strengths and weaknesses, knowing what builds you and knowing what brings you down. Without self awareness we stay on auto pilot and take no responsibility for our lives.

2.      Know the Triggers- we must have awareness around what and who places stress upon us and takes us out of our power. From knowing your triggers you can catch your reaction and create a pause between your impulse and action.

3.      Recognize your energy loss. Notice where in your body you experience powerlessness. Is it in the belly? Is it in your thoughts? Is it in your chest? In your breath?

4.      Demand back your power. Once you realize you are losing power and can feel it in your body you can call back and demand your energy to return.

5.      Self Care. Have a strong and consistent Self Care Plan to ensure you are filling up your tank and giving the body and your energy time to rejuvenate itself. When we are tired our defenses come down and we become more susceptible to weakening and losing our power.

6.      Gentleness.  And the most important step and the emphasis of this article is to be gentle with yourself knowing that YOU ARE ALWAYS UNDER CONSTRUCTION.  We are always growing, always shedding layers, and always evolving towards our highest values, shaping you into the best version of yourself.

Remember the words of Ray Kroc, “you are either green and growing, or ripe and rotting,” so be kind and playful. Instead of being hard on yourself thinking that you should be better or should be further along your path, recognize how far you have come, recognize your growth and development and allow yourself to continue to grow organically with patience, acceptance and understanding.

So put that hard hat back on and continue to build your life and yourself into an architectural masterpiece. Drop the unrealistic expectations on yourself. Nature grows organically, not perfectly and is always perfectly imperfect.

Australia's Whitsunday Island's Heart Reef



To your truth and freedom with lots of love,

Cheryne Blom

For more about Cheryne please also see: http://www.cheryneblom.com/ 

Please "LIKE" this post by clicking on the top of this page.

PS: I would love to hear your comments and stories. Please leave your comments here or email me  Please also share your comments on Facebook.

COMING SOON- MASTERING THE ART OF SELF LOVE ONLINE PROGRAM! STARTING MARCH 2012The ultimate 12 step process- please email me your interest here

Download Guided Meditation MP3 files

Learn how to meditate 6 week course - starts Wednesday 22 February 2012

Relaxation Weekend Retreat

NEW Meditation Made Easy Online Course in partnership with Lovin You. Starting March 2012, Email interest here!

Coming NOVEMBER 2012...Bali Retreat, find out more and register your interest...